What I Learned While on Sabbatical

     The word "sabbatical" (according to Dictionary.com) comes from the Greek word "sabatikos" which means "of the Sabbath."   Just as the Sabbath is a day of rest from work to be taken every seventh day, a sabbatical is an extended break from work designed to be taken every 7 years, apparently.   After 16 years on staff with Cru, I took my first (!) sabbatical this past September.  After a year of change and upheaval - including a significant drop in financial support - I found myself dealing with anxiety and burnout.  It was time to step back and reconnect with the Lord while also seeking a renewed vision and calling moving forward. 
     That month proved to be quite a blessing for me.  I thought I'd share some of what the Lord taught me - hopefully there are some nuggets here for you as well! 

1.  I tend to find my significance in productivity - shocker :).                                                             As I prayerfully prepared for my sabbatical, I sensed that a major goal was to release any need to produce - for work AND for home.   I felt the Lord was asking me to simply be for that season.  To be present to Him, but also to get in touch with my own desires - how long had it been since I asked myself the question "what do I want to do today?"  As a woman and a mother, I realized that much of my life is spent in meeting the needs of others and also in accomplishing the "shoulds" of life - I should be giving, serving, meeting this person's need, living up to that person's expectations.  None of those things are necessarily bad, but I realized that I tend to lose touch with what I want in the process.  Even now, typing this, I realize a part of me believes seeking my own wants is a bad thing.   In reality, if I'm pursuing the Lord and seeking to be filled with the Holy Spirit, God will sanctify my desires and will often use those desires to direct my path.  But to get to my own wants, I had to release the pressure I put on myself to produce and realize that my value does not lie in what I produce or how well I meet the expectations of others.
2. Life is lived and goals are achieved one day at a time.                                                                     I'm a big picture person.  In many ways, this is a blessing - it allows me to see the whole and help people see how their part contributes to that.  It becomes a problem when it comes to my own personal goals, however.  I can become fixated on the end and how much work it will take to get there which tends to paralyze me, preventing forward movement.  At the same time, I can get fixated on a mythical future that can never happen if I'm paralyzed in the moment.  This imagined future tends to be either one of fantasy or fear - good things imagined or bad things dreaded.  During my break, the Lord reminded me that life has to be lived in the present moment.  This has two implications for me: 1) goals are achieved one small step at a time - what is the small step forward I can take today that moves me a bit closer to the big picture goal?  and 2) instead of worrying about what COULD happen tomorrow, how do I learn to appreciate where I am today?  
3. My body and brain need meditation and exercise                                                                              While I resolved to set down any need to be productive, I did want to begin to add some healthy life rhythms.  I began a meditation practice and sought to add regular exercise into my day.  I feel so much better all the way around when those two things are consistent parts of my life.  

At the end of the day, I'm so grateful for the ways that the Lord met me during my sabbatical.  I have returned to my regular work excited about what God is doing in and through my ministry.  Thank you for being in it with me!     

A glimpse of a bit of actual fall color in my neighborhood :)